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Me on the phone: Yeah I’m going to be late to work today.

Supervisor: Why?

Me: There’s a cat gang bang happening on top of my car.

Supervisor: (silence)

Supervisor: Well can’t you break it up?

Me: Who am I to break up a cat gang bang? They’ve probably been organizing it for days on Craigslist.

Supervisor: Good point. See you when you get here.

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